Geeze, there's something new about me.

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Okay. So this is not exactly the typical blog that I'll do. Im trying to cut off all the crap and bs's in my life right now. As in no room for it. Nope. I wont let my mind go there. As my boss would always tell. Dont go into the light. As my team would say. Haha. Funny. Right. But they are right. They are most of the time right.

I just came home from work and i feel so heavy that's why im in front of my handy-dandy blog notepad. Got nothing to do on a saturday morning, actually. Just listening to my old sentimental music and yeah, typing my heart out.

This week was one kinda tough. THIS MONTH actually. I got sick, been absent from work for a week. Im not even sure if i wrote a blog about it, but nah. wag na lang. dont wanna remind myself that im no longer THAT healthy. you know what i mean.

What else. Ah. Of course, being under probation, those sick days were not yet paid, so aside from the medical expenses, i also got salary deduction. Shit happens, alright. What else. Oh yeah, it's my papa's 4th death anniversary. So what to do? As i do it yearly, i always pull out all the drama and cry. The only difference is that, i kinda suppress it a bit. But you know the saying that, the more you suppress it, the more it shows. It proved itself, yet again. What's worse, it got me stuck, affecting my work too. Good thing i have found true friends in my team mates. Gahd. They helped. But then, I still need to talk to my boss/coach/not-really-a-father-but-is-treated-that-way-still/employer. It's like he's the major go-to/talk-to guyin my second world which is my worl. It still amazes me how our company works. Cant explain it though. Hmmm. there.

Anyways, its not really bad you know. Well to start with, my mom is kinda in good state right now. She will never forget my dad, but then, fortuitous events will happen and there's nothing else that i can do. I mean, if she's happy, who am i to stop her. Right. And besides, we somewhat benefit from it too. So, its not really bad. Period. Secondly, omigosh, i wasnt able to travel, as i have planned it in my planner, but i guess, everything happens in its own time. So.... COME QUICK 2011!!!! hahahaahah! Bohol for our 4th anniversary (booked through a travel agency), Boracay on July with officemates (booked.) and im wishing,hoping and praying that my plan would come true, that i may celebrate my birthday in Coron,Palawan or in Puerto Prinsesa. (still waiting for a seat sale! ) So im pretty much excited for next year. Now i know how it feels to get yourself a plan ahead of you. OH! I forgot another news. Bad news though. Kokok and the family will be moving out soon. It's most likely that they wont be celebrating the holidays in halcon anymore. So as for me, if i can drop by there, i take my chances. Lotsa memories we had there eh. so there. Its the 30th of october, in 2 days, november na. Time flies fast indeed.

Oh, just to get you more excited, this thanksgiving, we're planning to have something like the amazing race, and oh yes we're so excited. Bring it on guys! :)

I'll try to somewhat update this site more often too! I only have like 2 months left for this year! Im hoping for a greater year next year! PUH-LEESE! :) byers!

Never too late

Yeah. Its never gonna be too late. I didnt have the chance to linger on my thoughts because im too preoccupied with work lately. I need to catch up because first, i slacked off for being absent from work for a week because of my left kidney. Demet. Im not the regular alcoholic drinker and yet my kidney's over-reacting. Second, i got bills coming in and plans going on in my mind. So, money never really sleeps. Hehe. And lastly, my mom's got something new to boot. Im not gonna elaborate on that, because this blog's gonna be about the best man in my life, and probably, the best man in my mom's life and heck, the best man in everybody's life in our family. (labo.)

Papa.

4 years. Yes. 4 years. How's that? Time heals all wounds, that's what they say. I say, am I diabetic? 'Cause my wound never seems to heal.

I always remember my father. The way he showered us with his undying love. I watch tv and i see fathers abusing their children. I remember my Papa, fanning us all throughout the night whenever brown out strikes. He gladly watches us sleep while thunderstorms do their thing on a very cold, and rainy night.

I walk my way, passing through kids who barely eat. Memories of Papa will come rushing through. How he taught me to eat extra ordinary food and how to eat those satisfactorily. How he opens oyster shells and clams for me. How he breaks crab claws for me and how he gets the insides of bulalo, placing it on a spoon, ready for my mouth to take.

Realizing not all kids get the chance to go to school, and i reminisced how my Papa would ask if I my Mama already gave us money as baon, and he'd hold our hands with something extra for us to buy whatever we want to buy in school aside from buying ourselves something for us to eat. Reminisced how he surprised us by giving us our first cellphones all together in one shot when i was still a freshman in high school and my siblings still in elementary. Remembered how my classmates would commute or walk under the heat of the sun after a very hot Sunday afternoon after ROTC, while I remember seeing my Papa in his usual parking space just outside the university. Yeah, waiting to fetch me. Not to mention the effort of bringing me back to and fro whenever I have long gaps in between of my dismissal and P.E. class. Pampered much. I can say. Spoiled to those who sees these are not necessary.

But envy me/us all you want. Because we got the best man that there can ever be. And now, how I wish I could return the pampering Pa!

I still miss you, Papa. And I promise you, I'll go places, with the whole family. Was just hoping you were with us. I miss you big time. I guess everyone else does.

This is it.

Wow. Days passed so fast, i didnt even had the time to unwind through blogging.

I already had it. THAT one job application that made me pause and think, IS THIS IT?! I started crying in the elevator going down to meet kokok and cry even harder. I cant believe it! I'll be training for this job. After a month, I'll be evaluated, and see if I can fit in the team. I was asking myself, what's with the team? And now, on my 4th week as a trainee, now I know what's with the 'team'.

I used to think that i need to squeeze in myself in this solid team. As my co-trainees would put it, it was like trying to penetrate into something that is so solid and covered. Hmmm, that's tough. You know why? Let me just say, I found the counterpart team of Akdang-Buhay, only LESS Drama, LESS CRAP and more money. That's just basically it. Oh, let me not forget that servings of care, love and the sense of having a second family, for real. Hmmm, too early to say this. Im not even IN, in the real sense. Im going to have my evaluation on tuesday. And whatever happens, I know, im doing what i can to hold on to this. I wanted this to be my last. My forever job. :)

Kokok,on the other hand, has been very busy with his work himself. I am just hoping that everything would be fine for us two.

To wrap things up, AUGUST was really crazy! ( its still august though) Kai's baby, Bebang, just had her 1st bday last aug5. And me and my girlfriends had more dates than the usual. had breakfast meetings and just yesterday, we celebrated Jessica's birthday. And we're even planning to go out of town. :) So excited.

On the other hand, i chose not to hear anything about jam from em, told her, if im to receive any news abt the baby, i want it to come from jam and not from her.

I lose some, i gain some. That's life. It isnt fair (as i always try to tell to myself) But its not all BAD too. I get money, i use it for bills. And I'll try to work harder to have more money so I could have more to share and to spend and save for myself and for my family.

Im hoping to enroll myself in a dance class before this year ends. And, because of the work outs, I see myself losing 10-15lbs come November. CHeers to hardwork, BS's, and craps, FOOD and drinks and bad and good things, and everything in between. :)

Young love, Sweet Love!

let me share this to all of you! :)

“Let me just share with you the story of these two little kids. This boy and this girl, are in love. As young as they are, it’s incredible how they treat each other, how much they want to be together all the time, how they never get tired of one another, it’s crazy.

My mom works at a preschool, and these two kids go there. William and Eva. Their about four or five I believe. Eva goes to school everyday, but William only goes every other day. The little girl’s mom told my mom that every morning when Eva gets in the car she says, “Mommy, is today a William day?” And when it is she sighs with relief in her little car seat. When they sit in class on the floor listening to story time, the little boy strokes her arm. He tucks her hair behind her ear and smiles at her, he helps her with her coloring. This is all during a day in preschool.

I saw him at the school picnic, and he was walking around holding her hand. She said, “I want some cake, William.” He replied, “Okay, Eva. Let’s go get some together.”I couldn’t help but take a picture of them. I hope they get married someday. They make me so happy. Even if he’s four years old, he knows how to treat a girl better than any guy my age.”

(via tessaohhh)

I told you, young love is charming.

these pics were actually taken i guess, over a year ago,,, somewhere in Bulacan, kela Tito Cent. VEry timing, tomorrow, well be going back again for his youngest son's Christening. Food! :) And we're going to wear the shirt that was made esp, for our Baguio trip (supposedly)... So there.

Tomorrow, Im gonna curl my hair, wear the sexy white shirt, fitted jeans and my fave high heels care of figliarina. :) HELLO BEAUTIFUL!!! :)

*thanks to gela for the typo error. WHat has gotten into my mind, referring to Christening as Christianing> hahahah! LOL.

something..something

Okay. So finally, Ill be having my share for July.

first, finally, im keeping the tumblr account invisible to facebook. yeah. what's the point. Told yeah, its gonna be more updated and emotional than this one. who cares. no one reads it anyway, unless i share the blog here in facebook. so there. yeah. better keep it for myself. That's the way it's supposed to be.

Im also keeping my fingers crossed,, and crossed still if ever that happens. This is it! I guess, the turning point. My last chance. I'll have ago, and hoping that everything will coming MY WAY.

Im also excited about a lot of things, lately. (yeah, LATEly,,,whatever)

Just last month, i found myself being addicted AGAIN to watching youtube videos about make ups and styling hair.. and glad i came accross Michelle Phan's channel. Great girl. She's simple and she seems okay. I just hope i get to have her brushes (IQQU Brushes) soon! :)

SO there! till next blog!

And oh, readers! Please pray for my special intentions,, :) thanks!

GRRRRR...

GRRRRRR....

Crying while taking a bath yet again. Its beginning to be my new hobby this past few days. Right after theng arrived home from the hospital, it created such A STIR! New stories formed, and we didnt even know san nanggaling yun. Grabe.

And when i bursted out in anger, napagalitan pako ng kuya ko na di ko daw ginagamit ang utak ko. I remembered, watching crime movies, wherein, kailangan lang nyang may ipagtanggol kaya nagawa yung bagay na yun? i think, i somehow felt it, though hindi naman ganun ka-tindi ang mga pangyayari. But you see, kapag matagal ka ng nagtitiis sa mga pang aalipusta, darating ang pagkakataon, bibitawan mo ang pagkapit sa rason, and you’ll stand up for being human. Like those juday teleseryes. How i feel for her pag inaaapi sya and how i wanted her na gumanti

Corny.Pero ganun ako. Most of you might be like us too. Most of times, yes, we can manage. we can bear and we can still control ourselves. But ALWAYS. there will be a time na magsasawa ka sa pagiging laging api. And for once maiisip mo, kaya ka inaapi kasi you;re letting them do that to you.

Now, though I AM not ready yet for what may happen, I AM ready to stand for family. Ayoko ng inaapi ako, LALO na sila. Lahat naman siguro ng tao ganun. Masakit lang, susugod ang kalaban when you are most likely unprepared, off-guard. Unfair.

i thought everything has started already. GUess i am wrong. It starts now. And I have nothing and no one. BUt God.