Back at it

 Wow. I got in again after so long! been planning on going back to blogging since its so painful for me to talk these days. oh. So maybe i could talk about Trigeminal Neuralgia now? lol. so there. I guess i need to organize my thoughts first. Ive been reading my past posts, and those were really terrible! lol. But you dont really mind those kind of stuff when you are writing on your journal, yes? Thats the point.

Maybe, ill do more of this soon? or, would it be much better if I send it from my other email to another?

Do I even have readers? :) 

Ill try to post some more. :)

Diary

Was cleaning out my closet earlier, and, just noticed those notebooks that look so familiar to me. Yeah right. My diarIES. Eversince elementary, i've been confiding on my handy-dandy until sophomore year in college, I guess. What made me stop? Blogging. Kidding. Truth? I cant even remember. But, i would want to continue writing on my diary again. Its just that, im busy nowadays. really now? Usually whenever Im tired but too eager to write/express myself, its easier to just type things down. everythings just so clean and perfectly written. BUt maybe, what im missing writing on my diary is the feeling. You know,i kinda remember the feelings just seeing how i wrote some of my thoughts in it. Whether Im angry, happy, excited or heart-broken, i can definitely see immediately through my penmanship.

So, tried scanning my old diary. Tried checking what the finder might know if that someone takes a peek. *blush* my scholastic disappointment, my almost-suicidal attempt due to THAT disappointment, success, fame, rigid trainings, and most part of it? Matters of the heart. Sheeesh. That was so like me, during elementary till high school to early college years. I would definitely melt once someone reads this. But yeah, why did i stopped?

1. People in the house are more keen now. I mean, under the bed? my closet? my bookshelf? Nah, they'll know where it is. They clean the house almost everyday.

2. I lost interest. BUt im still blogging, right?

3. I changed. Yeah. that's it. I changed. a lot. and maybe a lot of things already changed too. I probably judged it as something not worthy of my writing effort anymore, but maybe, someday, i'll get it again.

I'll let you know once im back at the track. but for the meantime, i guess i need to find a safer place for my old diaries.

i think im back.

stronger. tougher. prettier. CHUBBIER. HAHAHAHAH! kidding! will post again soon! ;0

The year that would just pass me by

My 2010 didnt really started well. Got so many things unsolved and got so many craps that I cant even handle. Left past job, encountered money problems and had issues from so many angles cant even put my finger on it. Lost old friends, gained new friends, reconnected and lost communication. Everything happened this year. And what a year this was!

This year was dull, i thought. Problems just keeps coming back, i thought. And most of all, happiness was out of reach, i thought. Got everything all wrong.

August, got the job that I've been waiting for. Met great and strong people. But most of all, got inspired by our Boss, David. He was the one who gave everybody in the team the chance and the break that we've been longing for that we werent able to find in our previous jobs. And this time, we vowed to make everything better and bigger. This job gave me the chance to travel a bit, again. Made me experience again, what its like to be ABLE.. again.

But God, who is all righteous and knowledgeable provided me with the things and the people that I really needed to move on.

I want to thank my mama, who is ever strong too. My siblings, for the inspiration. My kokok, for the support. All of the above gave me sufficient 'kick' that made me push. It's never easy, but its never impossible.

My kuya joel and my mama aya, God knows how thankful i am for having you guys around, for always opening and offering opportunities, whatever, whenever. we love you too.

To my bestfriends, you know who you are. Things are not settled was it? Im hopeful for the coming year to give us the chance to iron things out. Just the same, both of you are included in my 2010.

to my girlfriends, jessica, kai and nhel. thank you for being the support that i never really called in. cheers for more years of friendship! :)

to my pax family, im looking forward to our adventures next year!

to my second family, (kokok's) thank you.

to geno and bee: hoping to being with you guys soon. :)

to everyone that i wasnt able to mention: sorry, but thank you!

to dddydc, thank you for being an angel. for being of great help to us. We'll be forever grateful for having you. Praying for more years to spend with you!

And most specially, Papa, wherever you are, you would never be forgotten. And I will be forever thankful for having you as my father. You will always be the BEST FATHER in the whole wide world. And believe me, as compared to a lot of fathers that i know, you are really the best. We LOVE you so much, and we miss you so much!

Oh God, 2010 wasnt that bad after all.

I am happy i am stronger. I am happy i am capable. I am happy that I could do better things this coming year.

Farewell 2010, Welcome 2011!

nyahahaha!

yeah, this is what i looked like, taking a break from my dramatic blog, while having my pedicure, manicure done. got shorter nails though!

What's in my bag?

Oh-kay. decided i needed some time to break away from my dramatic thanksgiving blog. so here's a blog that has nothing to do with anything or anyone but me.

Was asked what can be seen inside my bag?

A lot of things actually. That's why a small bag can never work for me. So here's a peek inside my bag, with or without an event to go to.

For normal days:

Girbaud wallet : contains everything, cards, different sorts of ID's, money (err) memorable pictures, unexchanged dollarS ( yes, with an S, hehe), old and new atms and receipts that I cant even remember when was it issued to me.

Lipbalm: i used to use Chapsticks then Nivea and now, im loving Maybelline.

Make up: omg omg omg! kasalanan to ng Megaworld, now i ALWAYS have make up in my bag.

and just recently, i included a set of makeup brushes too! so to sum it all up, i got a new set of make up and make up brushes. So see, why i need a big bag to stack up all my everyday

necessities?

Belle de Jour Planner: once you see mine, you'll really think that I ALWAYS use it. sobrang gamit na gamit. bugbog, kung baga. Now Im thinking how i'll take better care of my new planner this 2011. But for sure, just like my other planners, sobrang gamit na gamit ko din 'to.

Gtec, .03 - i've been using this pen since 2nd or 3rd year high school! OMG! they can give me a loyalty award anytime!

coin purse: this is where all my coins go.. ooops..

lrt AND mrt ticket: yep. i always have BOTH.

eyeglasses AND shades: being nerdy and classy in just one pack.

baby wipes and alcohol and sanitizer: yes im no longer a baby, but i like it when i get my hands cleaned for being dirty for some reason. now this reminds me of Emma Pillsbury (glee,guidance counslor)

cellphone: can be occasionally seen inside my bag, in the pockets of my bag, in my pocket, in the computer area, in the car, anywhere! shet. could this be the reason why kokok would always nag me for not taking care of his gift? sheessshhhh....

ipod: its always present, however, its not always fully charged. so sometimes i use it, sometimes i dont

camera: my super handy-dandy camera! but just like my ipod, i dont use it everytime.

cologne: you what's this for. right?

comb: for my hair. and no, i dont let anybody borrow my comb. it's like lending your toothbrush, more or less.

napkin: just in case the girl thing arrives unexpectedly, or if somebody else's visitor arrives. hehe!

i think that's it.

but if i need to attend to a formal event, i use smaller bags which only contains of:

lipbalm, face powder and cheek tint,mascara, some money and my atm, cellphone, ipod, camera, comb and tissue.

that's pretty much everything.

now i can go back to my thanksgiving blog. :)

Just a flashback.

Okay. So I caught myself doing nothing except munching cap n crunch and rice krispies with my fave fruits (strawberry and peaches) on this so-so yogurt. ( Ang hirap kasi wala naman maxadong branches and White Hat and Red Mango) nagtataka nga ako kay gela, AYAW nya daw ng yogurt, nung una nyang tinikman tong yogurt na 'to. Pero ngayon, everytime na meron ako, tumitikim sya ulit and looks like, she likes it already. unbelievable! hahahahaha! now no one can ever contest my encouraging and influencing prowess! hahahahaah! :) oops, then naisip ko si theng, na kahit anong pilit ko, ayaw ng yogurt. BAHKET??? anyways...

It's already the 29th and in a few days, it's 2011 already. Indeed, time flies so fast. Im not gonna run down the highlights of my 2010 just yet. Just this December lang, because for sure, this December is the busiest December that I had since my father passed away, four years ago.

Last week of Cebu, was all about work. Cebu then client coming over, meaning good times with the Boss and the team. December came in, celebrating David's birthday ( the Boss ) and Paul's wedding, may i say, EXTRAVAGANT wedding. ( now i have a new criteria for my own wedding. It's scaring me a bit, but i think my groom would be more scared if he knew this. haha! ) Then the Chirstmas kicked in and got me. So Christmas shopping here and there and Christmas bondingS with the family. (take note of the "S") Oh! and before I forget, was able to book to Bohol for our anniversary too! and just before Christmas eve, I was able to book another trip to Puerto Princesa. That's why we got so much to look forward for this January 2011.

Thanks to the people who helped, but im not gonna drop names just yet, okay? Im reserving it for my final blog this year, will be posted exactly on new year's eve.

Oh,what to have on media noche Just remembered what we had last Christmas!

Bacon and hashbrowns and waffles and grilled steak, liempo and tilapia and spaghetti and chicken nuggets and two oh-so-sumptuous cakes from my fave cake shop ( actually, this shop is so special to me because i ALWAYS remember Munch and Cieds, we used to hang out in there! )

Okay. now imma stop. Because something just popped in my head right now. my expenses! $$$$$$!!!!! bills to pay for laptop, for bookings, thinking i just bought a new headset, and a lot of spendings just because its Christmas! Oh Christmas, what power you have to make me splurge this much!

I have plans of enrolling myself in a lyrical hiphop dance class around February, MAYBE after dancing with my former crew for Musicfest, legis/consaltia. ( its one. )

Tis the season to be jolly!

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone! :)

Im just so happy this week! ;)

23rd, went to MOA for a part 2 for Christmas shopping, caught up in the traffic in Edsa!

So when we were working, everybody else was so anxious in going home early because of the traffic. Was so thankful that David allowed us to go home earlier because of the traffic. So, I was home before 3am of the 24th!

Short drive going to Laguna and wow, were we amazed. No traffic at all! As if everybody anticipated that a lot would be going out, so everybody else opted to just stay home. So happy.

The resort was great! Super. And i promise, we'll be back!

Pictures can be seen in my facebook account.

25th we left the resort at around 1130am, just the same! No traffic. Seriously. Hahahha! Received gifts from Ma, Theng and Chok! The best! Then, short talks with Kuya Toti and Ate Sol, left immediately to go to Mandaluyong and Mayon.

Received cash gifts from my future in laws (hehehe!) and my future 2nd family. Aside from being so happy receiving cash gifts, I am so thankful to Kuya Pao and Miani's gift for me. A tumbler from Starbucks! Hahahaha. Though I know the price, ITS TOTALLY FINE! I wasnt expecting any gift from them at all, so sure thing, this is something to be thankful for! PLUS, the fact how cute the tumber is! People in the office might envy me for that. Hahahaha!

Mama ( Kokok's grandma) gave me a violet top ( she might have noticed I most of the time wear violet, not knowing i usually wear my sister's and my mom's) Tita Girly gave me cash just the same and Tito Vic a nice mug! :)

today, people are playing poker. supposedly scheduled for a caroling, but you know, first things first. MOA tomorrow, ice skating, bowling and billiards! Oh, and good food! :)

More stories soon! :)

A quick shot @ Marriott Hotel immediately after the girls arrived and before we headed for CNT’s Lechon in Ayala Mall just beside the hotel. So im going to begin the story with the picture. Just ride along… :)

Plans for December

Plans for the holidays:

December weekends: usual family bondings, bowling and pigging out

December 18th - Enchanted Kingdom, billiards and videoke

December 19th - Christmas Shopping Part 1

December 22 - Christmas Shopping Part 2

December 23 - 25 - Christmas Eve Swimming Tradition

December 26 - Ice Skating, Bowling/Billiards

December 27 - Reunion with my girls

December 28 - Backpacking with the Team

December 31 - Tagaytay/ Laguna

Jan 2,3,4 - BOHOL for the 4th Anniversary.

All is well and planned.

Coincidental Influence - NOT!

being so influential is not really fun. at all.

but sometimes, it gets me too! now im gonna run back in time to prove that everything is not just coincidence.

CAT days, i was influenced to join it. But i was able to inlfluence others to join in too.

Commerce, i was influenced to take it too. later on i was able to influence a classmate of mine to major in B.A. di ba munch? :)

Pax Romana, yeah, was influenced by the seniors, but later on, was able to influence others to join not only Pax, but legis and chorale too!

I kinda know that i am that much of being an influence not just in major life changing decisions but even in small instances like:

the bdj planner : was influenced by my bestfriend but then, i was able to influence first my sister then miani and angela and now, never mind. i'll be going forever if ill continue.

The rollers ; was influenced by my sister then i was able to influence a lot too. so they had their hair longer, bought their own rollers so they could do it-themselves.

Same with haircolor, you know. And the high lights. You could just wonder, one day they'll say i have this nice hair color/highlights, the next day they are on it too. And when i tried confronting them about imitating me, they'll say no? come on. you think you could get away with that. that was just so damn-right obvious.

The braces, the contact lenses, the eyeglasses, the slippers, the shoes, the scrapbook, whatever. Some may say coincidence, but in my eyes, definitely not.

CEBU!

this is soooo it. i finally had this chance to sit down and think things over. November was so great. And for sure, this December isnt going to be left behind even a bit.

The Cebu Trip was so cool! (Im so sorry you guys, im working on my blogs using our desktop so the pictures cant be uploaded at the same time. )

It was supposed to be a trip to Hong Kong, but since some have expired passports, then thiw wont work. This is supposed to be our Thanksgiving/Team Building activity. So everyone was expected to be there. Then everybody checked for seat sales, first found was in Davao. Thought of things to do there, cant really think of A LOT, then there came CEBU and as in in that instant, David told us to book. And so the Aa and vren and remy did. That was awesome. Airfare was solved. Then, things got so out of hand, the team just decided to do it backpacker style. Meeting adjourned.

The next day, we had a problem! Some of the tickets didnt went through so they have to go to the office to manually do it. SO, what happened was, we were divided into two groups, the first flight, at 4am and the 2nd @6am. And guess what. I was included in the first group, not mentioning that the 1st group was composed of the BoVi gentlemen, David,Paul, Rob, Carlos and Jax. Yep, all boys. and im the only rose. AWKWARD! that's what i thought. But honestly, there's no air of awkwardness then! I felt like being on an airplane with my big brothers and i felt like nothing could go wrong and everything's fine. ( David is my Boss, btw. so everything should really work out great with the 1st group right)

We arrived 5am, walked a long way and really commuted going to Marriott Hotel. From there, we received a news that the 2nd flight, composed of the BoVi ladies will be delayed. So what's left for us to do? Easy. Boss treated us to a buffet lunch! That's what we get for being with the boss and im so thankful that im with the boys! I really felt like i was back to being that tomboyish girl from elem-hs! hahahah!

Once the ladies arrived, we started the tour! for starters, we tried the best lechon in CEbu, (CNT) in ayala mall, which gave me the feeling of being in greenbelt. as in same design and all, less people nga lang. Went to their very own Divisoria too, less people nga lang ulit, as in much less. Then off we went to the Taoist Temple, On our way there, i was like thinking if this was like the Grotto in Baguio, But buti na lang hindi. lesser steps. hahahah.

After that, we hired a jeep going to Mactan Shangri La where we tried their best selling drink : BUKO JUICE! Oh my! that was really tiring! trying to finish that up! it was like it was bottomless! and no matter how hard i tried to kill it, i cant. I felt disappointed for not finishing that Buko. Then off we went to Imperial Palace. Our thing here is to have a feel of the finest hotels in Cebu. 7 star daw. That i cannot believe kasi from what i know, isa lang ang 7 star hotel sa buong mundo. at nasa dubai yun. Oh well. Then when we were about to go back to the city proper it started raining! reallly! so hungry and tired we ended up eating in a locale grill which was actually good naman!

Then, we had this room with 11 beds! yes, we all slept in one big room! and that was soooo fun! parang i could feel the bond, and im just so happy that im rediscovering myself again. Its been a long time since i last felt this way. With Akdang Buhay, then with pax and now with them. Just so nice.

We woke up around 4am the next day kasi we need to make habol sa bus going to Bantayan Islands! And 'the boss' was one of us. Im just amazed by this person because he is so humble! Then that was my first time to rife a RoRo too! shet. This just keeps getting better and better! And when we actually came to Sugar Beach, oh my! Was so clean and looks like we were the only people there! we immediately changed outfits and rode a small banca so we could go snorkeling na! everybody jumped into the water just as soon as the banca motor stopped!

From Bantayan Island, we again visited another VIRGIN island and thoughts came rushing in, someday, im gonna bring my family here. Someday.

We were so tired going back to Marriott but the feeling diminished when the boss said, we are going to have a feast. Buffet dinner it was. And from there, they gave me a name, silent killer, for i silently kill whatever. hahahahah! going back to our big room,i immediately fell asleep while the others had some story telling over bottles of beer.

The next morning, boss was about to say farewell so we had breakfast at UCC before he left. Then i went with the group who was scheduled to go to Tabuan, where dried everything was being sold. I spent Php2,000 for dried pusit and daing and dried mangoes and dilis! Whoa. Then had some massage while some had their time at Redbox in Ayala. Then went back to the airport for the flight going back to Manila.

Kokok, Mama, Dad, Chok and Theng was there to fetch me, and we had a very nice late dinner at Iceberg's by the bay. ( Was supposed to be at seafood island but since that was a tuesday, we bet they were already closed.)

So that's pretty much everything that happened in Cebu. Not that detailed blog but will for sure be forever be remembered.

OHMAYGASH!

im sooooo lost! as in lost! im just gonna update my blogs maybe by tomorrow.. not now.. im at work. (i have a different blog at work though) so, you know! heheheh!

im gonna blog about:

1. the cebu trip
2. that thought that is going on my mind for the past few days
3. plans for the holidays
4. expenses!

there you go. there's the summary for my december blogs! catcha tomorrow!

Commercial

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Just wanted to share, i've been addicted to Glee this past few months, and now, i got another series to be addicted too. Modern Family. Yes, it's funny kasi eh, try watching it. Its a very light series, comedy and lessons in one. Having said that, I think im gonna go and watch it now so I could catch up in its season 2. Hmmm,that made me realize, i've been missing a lot of shows lately. Ellen, top chef, gossip girl..what else. Whatever! HAHAHAHAHAH! Well, gotta appreciate it. If im so busy with tv series that means i dont a have life outside that box! I have a career in progress, yah know. Got it? Gotta go! :)

BUCKET LIST

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PLACES TO GO AND THINGS TO HAVE BEFORE AGE WHAT :)

***task already accomplished.

in random order:

Philippine Tour ( visit at least 5 of below before 27)

***Bohol, ***Boracay,Palawan (Puerto Princesa, Coron) Camiguin, Davao, Cebu, Cagayan de Oro, Sagada,*** Mindoro (Puerto Galera), Ilocos Pagudpud, Anawangin, Potipot, Banawe Rice Terraces, Pansanjan Falls/Maria Cristina Falls, ***Baguio, ***Bataan Dambana ng Kagitingan

Philippine Hotel Tour ( check in at least 5 of below before 27)

***Manila Diamond Hotel, Edsa Shangri La, Makati Shangri La,

***Sofitel, Hyatt, Manila Peninsula, Dusit Thani

Asian Tour ( visit at least 5 of below before 28)

Wall of China, Universal Studios in Singapore, Taj Mahal, meet Ella Chen and Wu Chun ( hehe! ) , Thailand, Japan, Korea, Hong Kong Disneyland

Honda City Black (before 29) or

Toyota Altis ( Black before 29)

4 Bedroom House ( before 35)

anywhere in: Cavite, Bulacan, Batangas, or Laguna

USA Tour (Before 30)

Las Vegas, Universal Studious, Disney Land, Washington, Chicago, Seattle, Glendale, Ellen de Generes Show, Ceasar's Palace, Hawaii

Ride a plane (before 25)

***Ride a boat (before 23)

Get married ( before 28, shet i only have 3 + years!)

Have 2 kids ( before 30)

***Laptop (before 25)

***Professional Make Up Set (before 25)

experience Brazilian Waxing (before 25, shet malapit na)

Our own Piggery and Poultry Business

backyard ( before 25)

Provincial lot ( before 30)

Our own Catering Business ( before 30)

Enroll at a Dance Class ( before 26)

Eat exotic food ( before 28)

any: tabilok, crispy salagubang, uod.

Enroll at a baking class ( before 30)

Write a story to MMK about my Father starring Dolphy ( before 25)

Collect 8 swimsuits ( before 27)

Collect 20 shoes ( before 28)

Change wardrobe ( after 25)

The plunge ( Bohol ) Ohhh.. scary!

LIST ABOVE MAY NOT BE UPDATED BY THE TIME READER CAME ACROSS BY THIS BLOG.

Anger Management

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If there's such a subject, im probably one of the best in class. Im quite transparent, at home and at work. But anywhere aside from the two, goodluck if you'll ever feel my anger. It keeps burning inside of me.

Family, (including my Kokok) officemates and few close friends can really tell once im in that mood. Yes im Ms. Congeniality most of the time but im also human. i get irritated and pissed too. But i kinda mastered the art of anger management. That way i see it, i call it, the Fake Set Up.

So, am i a fake person? NOt really. NOw that I admitted publicly that i am fake, its like exposing my true self. Therefore, revealing my true identity. I define fake set up as: i feel negative inside but i radiate positivity outside or most of the time silence. Just being quiet. ( so be extra careful whenever i am silent or emotionless) Now why do i do that? Simple. Because Im afraid. Afraid of myself once i burst out of anger. I tend to say a lot of negative things whenever I am mad. And most of the time, one may get hurt of what im gonna say because it is the truth. Only a few can handle it. That's why i got few close friends and A lot of so-so friends. Hmmm. ( Definition of few close friends: around 20-30 people. Few noh! hahaha! )

Hey. once you see me in that state, press it. Trigger me. Because i believe its going to give strength to our bond. Arguments make people grow. If truth be told, i like arguments. If im proven wrong, i'll grow. And if i prove someone else wrong, both of us will grow. BUt honestly, im not always brave enough to start or press an argument. Because, not all arguments build or gives growth. Its a risk too, you know? You are risking what could be something special. So what exactly am i pointing out? To argue is to choose to grow and to choose to build a stronger bond. So, if you feel like building a longer and lasting relationship with someone, dont be afraid to press an argument. Just be sure to open your mind and heart and both of you will grow and will build a true bond of friendship.

Yeah,Right.

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What to say. before getting my blogging materials and settings right, i totally forgot what i was about to blog today. oh yeah. The things that i wanted to have before the year ends.

Why do i want to buy these stuffs and save more money and go to a lot of places and save more money again? ridiculous! Good thing is, whenever i calculate my cash on hand and expenses, i still manage to have a bit extra. hehe! but then, it wont really help me save the big bulk,right? here's abit of everything for those gossip girls whose been following me secretly. ( come on, yes you. :)

Just last September ( i guess) i planned of getting myself a pomerian pup! Got so excited, i googled a lot about pompoms! Then, realization bit me. Im not really into dogs! I am even scared of dogs! Heck i dont wanna clean their poops and give them bath and take them for walk and blah blah blah. So, im not gonna get one YET. (get that?) So, since im not gonna get a pompom, i'll settle for a pair of bunnies na lang! And the hermit crab that i saw in SM Megamall ( i saw the bunnies @ bioresearch, so that was like seeing two pets in one place.) But pets can wait. Because i booked a bohol trip for two for january 2,3 and 4. Yup. That's for our 4th year anniversary. We like going to different places on our anniversaries and dining at different restaurants every monthsary. Kinda pleasurable. That's why im not really surprised if a couple of witnesses would imitate what we're doing. (goodluck sayo.)

Now, this November already bought 2 dresses, waiting for the make up brushes and the palette to be delivered. And oh! Got booked to boracay naman this time, with the officemates! Hahahah! (GOsh, why cant i really be serious about my work outs and diet plan ) Plus, showing of Harry Potter this month and Chronicle of Narnia late Nov or early December. Grabe.

And for CHristmas, im planning to celebrate the holidays sa Baguio naman. Want to experience picking strawberries and wala lang, yung cool breeze sa Baguio just because its Christmas time once again. :)

Geeze, there's something new about me.

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Okay. So this is not exactly the typical blog that I'll do. Im trying to cut off all the crap and bs's in my life right now. As in no room for it. Nope. I wont let my mind go there. As my boss would always tell. Dont go into the light. As my team would say. Haha. Funny. Right. But they are right. They are most of the time right.

I just came home from work and i feel so heavy that's why im in front of my handy-dandy blog notepad. Got nothing to do on a saturday morning, actually. Just listening to my old sentimental music and yeah, typing my heart out.

This week was one kinda tough. THIS MONTH actually. I got sick, been absent from work for a week. Im not even sure if i wrote a blog about it, but nah. wag na lang. dont wanna remind myself that im no longer THAT healthy. you know what i mean.

What else. Ah. Of course, being under probation, those sick days were not yet paid, so aside from the medical expenses, i also got salary deduction. Shit happens, alright. What else. Oh yeah, it's my papa's 4th death anniversary. So what to do? As i do it yearly, i always pull out all the drama and cry. The only difference is that, i kinda suppress it a bit. But you know the saying that, the more you suppress it, the more it shows. It proved itself, yet again. What's worse, it got me stuck, affecting my work too. Good thing i have found true friends in my team mates. Gahd. They helped. But then, I still need to talk to my boss/coach/not-really-a-father-but-is-treated-that-way-still/employer. It's like he's the major go-to/talk-to guyin my second world which is my worl. It still amazes me how our company works. Cant explain it though. Hmmm. there.

Anyways, its not really bad you know. Well to start with, my mom is kinda in good state right now. She will never forget my dad, but then, fortuitous events will happen and there's nothing else that i can do. I mean, if she's happy, who am i to stop her. Right. And besides, we somewhat benefit from it too. So, its not really bad. Period. Secondly, omigosh, i wasnt able to travel, as i have planned it in my planner, but i guess, everything happens in its own time. So.... COME QUICK 2011!!!! hahahaahah! Bohol for our 4th anniversary (booked through a travel agency), Boracay on July with officemates (booked.) and im wishing,hoping and praying that my plan would come true, that i may celebrate my birthday in Coron,Palawan or in Puerto Prinsesa. (still waiting for a seat sale! ) So im pretty much excited for next year. Now i know how it feels to get yourself a plan ahead of you. OH! I forgot another news. Bad news though. Kokok and the family will be moving out soon. It's most likely that they wont be celebrating the holidays in halcon anymore. So as for me, if i can drop by there, i take my chances. Lotsa memories we had there eh. so there. Its the 30th of october, in 2 days, november na. Time flies fast indeed.

Oh, just to get you more excited, this thanksgiving, we're planning to have something like the amazing race, and oh yes we're so excited. Bring it on guys! :)

I'll try to somewhat update this site more often too! I only have like 2 months left for this year! Im hoping for a greater year next year! PUH-LEESE! :) byers!

Never too late

Yeah. Its never gonna be too late. I didnt have the chance to linger on my thoughts because im too preoccupied with work lately. I need to catch up because first, i slacked off for being absent from work for a week because of my left kidney. Demet. Im not the regular alcoholic drinker and yet my kidney's over-reacting. Second, i got bills coming in and plans going on in my mind. So, money never really sleeps. Hehe. And lastly, my mom's got something new to boot. Im not gonna elaborate on that, because this blog's gonna be about the best man in my life, and probably, the best man in my mom's life and heck, the best man in everybody's life in our family. (labo.)

Papa.

4 years. Yes. 4 years. How's that? Time heals all wounds, that's what they say. I say, am I diabetic? 'Cause my wound never seems to heal.

I always remember my father. The way he showered us with his undying love. I watch tv and i see fathers abusing their children. I remember my Papa, fanning us all throughout the night whenever brown out strikes. He gladly watches us sleep while thunderstorms do their thing on a very cold, and rainy night.

I walk my way, passing through kids who barely eat. Memories of Papa will come rushing through. How he taught me to eat extra ordinary food and how to eat those satisfactorily. How he opens oyster shells and clams for me. How he breaks crab claws for me and how he gets the insides of bulalo, placing it on a spoon, ready for my mouth to take.

Realizing not all kids get the chance to go to school, and i reminisced how my Papa would ask if I my Mama already gave us money as baon, and he'd hold our hands with something extra for us to buy whatever we want to buy in school aside from buying ourselves something for us to eat. Reminisced how he surprised us by giving us our first cellphones all together in one shot when i was still a freshman in high school and my siblings still in elementary. Remembered how my classmates would commute or walk under the heat of the sun after a very hot Sunday afternoon after ROTC, while I remember seeing my Papa in his usual parking space just outside the university. Yeah, waiting to fetch me. Not to mention the effort of bringing me back to and fro whenever I have long gaps in between of my dismissal and P.E. class. Pampered much. I can say. Spoiled to those who sees these are not necessary.

But envy me/us all you want. Because we got the best man that there can ever be. And now, how I wish I could return the pampering Pa!

I still miss you, Papa. And I promise you, I'll go places, with the whole family. Was just hoping you were with us. I miss you big time. I guess everyone else does.

This is it.

Wow. Days passed so fast, i didnt even had the time to unwind through blogging.

I already had it. THAT one job application that made me pause and think, IS THIS IT?! I started crying in the elevator going down to meet kokok and cry even harder. I cant believe it! I'll be training for this job. After a month, I'll be evaluated, and see if I can fit in the team. I was asking myself, what's with the team? And now, on my 4th week as a trainee, now I know what's with the 'team'.

I used to think that i need to squeeze in myself in this solid team. As my co-trainees would put it, it was like trying to penetrate into something that is so solid and covered. Hmmm, that's tough. You know why? Let me just say, I found the counterpart team of Akdang-Buhay, only LESS Drama, LESS CRAP and more money. That's just basically it. Oh, let me not forget that servings of care, love and the sense of having a second family, for real. Hmmm, too early to say this. Im not even IN, in the real sense. Im going to have my evaluation on tuesday. And whatever happens, I know, im doing what i can to hold on to this. I wanted this to be my last. My forever job. :)

Kokok,on the other hand, has been very busy with his work himself. I am just hoping that everything would be fine for us two.

To wrap things up, AUGUST was really crazy! ( its still august though) Kai's baby, Bebang, just had her 1st bday last aug5. And me and my girlfriends had more dates than the usual. had breakfast meetings and just yesterday, we celebrated Jessica's birthday. And we're even planning to go out of town. :) So excited.

On the other hand, i chose not to hear anything about jam from em, told her, if im to receive any news abt the baby, i want it to come from jam and not from her.

I lose some, i gain some. That's life. It isnt fair (as i always try to tell to myself) But its not all BAD too. I get money, i use it for bills. And I'll try to work harder to have more money so I could have more to share and to spend and save for myself and for my family.

Im hoping to enroll myself in a dance class before this year ends. And, because of the work outs, I see myself losing 10-15lbs come November. CHeers to hardwork, BS's, and craps, FOOD and drinks and bad and good things, and everything in between. :)